The birth of Jaim Allen
As we were falling asleep the night of October 3rd, Jon told me that he had a feeling that Jaim would be born the next day. Jon is not the kind of person who talks like that. He doesn't ever think he knows when or how something will happen. So I was kind of surprised that he said that.
The next day - Sunday, October 4th, 2009 - I woke up at 7:30AM. Maev was sleeping next to me, and Jon was in the family room working on his editing. At that time, I had cut Maev's nursing down to once a night for five minutes before bed. However, this morning, I let her nurse for a half hour before I got out of bed, hoping that the nipple stimulation would start labor.
I had woken up earlier (around 6AM, I think) feeling very hungry. I had made and eaten a half sandwich for myself. So instead of eating breakfast after I got out of bed, I started sweeping the floors. My plan was to do a lot of cleaning that day, again hoping to start labor. I was determined to make it happen! As I was sweeping, I started feeling some contractions. I didn't get my hopes up because that's what I'd been feeling all week. But I decided to take a shower soon so that I'd be clean in case it was the real thing. My mom called then to tell me that she was really sick and I shouldn't have the baby that day. I didn't tell her about the contractions because I figured why get her excited for nothing? I was going to mop the floors before showering, but the contractions were actually getting closer(!), so I told Jon I was getting in the shower. When I was about to get in, I yelled to him to call my midwife, Lucinda, and my, sister, Norrah (she was going to be there to watch Maev), to let them know what was going on.
Five minutes into the shower I yelled to Jon again that they better come over now. The contractions were actually getting a little intense. I was starting to have to talk myself through them - "It's just pressure...only pressure...lots of pressure..."
Ten minutes into the shower, I asked Jon when Lucinda was coming. When he told me that she had said she was going to eat a quick breakfast before coming over (she was pregnant herself - can't leave the house without a full stomach), I kind of panicked. There was a moment during some of the contractions when I was starting to feel the slightest bit pushy. I didn't know how much longer I had. So Jon called Lucinda again to let her know I didn't want her to have breakfast, but she said she was already on her way. It was at this time that Maev woke up. Jon took her into the kitchen to get her some breakfast.
I got out of the shower and decided I didn't have enough time to blow dry my hair, so I pulled it back and put on my very comfy maternity dress that I had planned to wear during labor. I started to put on some make up, but soon realized that I wasn't able to do that either. Jon started filling up the birth pool.
I was really feeling the need to concentrate and focus. I wanted to stay upright as long as possible, so I walked around our bedroom and leaned on our bed during contractions talking to myself and making low-pitched moans. I used the ipod to listen to my Hypnobabies scripts. It really helped me to stay calm, focused and to *try* to keep my body relaxed and go with the flow. Eventually I felt like I had to lie down. I wanted to stand to use the help of gravity, but it was too scary for some reason. So I lied down on my side at the foot of our bed. The birth pool was still being filled, and I really liked the sound of the water.
I closed my eyes during contractions and listened to the water and Hypnobabies. Jon came in to tell me that Lucinda had arrived, and when I opened my eyes again, there she was sitting on a chair next to the bed. I felt much better knowing she was there. I told her I didn't want her to check me, and she told me not to worry because she could tell I was well on my way and she didn't need to check me to figure that out.
Then my sister arrived to take care of Maev, and Jon was able to be by my side for the rest of the time. He sat on the foot of the bed and held my hand during contractions. I made him hold my hand the exact same way during each one. The pool was now filled, but I wanted the water to keep running. (I know - what a waste! I'm embarrassed.) I didn't want anything to change. I panicked when a script ended on the ipod until Jon started a new one for me. I felt like I could handle things just fine, as long as nothing in my immediate environment changed.
Although I was in pain, I actually remember having fun talking with Jon and Lucinda. I even remember laughing a little! I would say, “I am so lucky to be having a baby today!” and I'd try to remind myself often that I should be grateful that the pain I was in was because of that; that so many other people in the world were in pain and suffering right now and they weren't getting a baby out of it.
The baby got the hiccups. I could feel them so low. It bothered me a little because it was distracting. I don't remember how long they lasted.
I did start crying at one point when I realized that I wasn't going to be getting in the pool; after we spent money to buy it, researched how to make it work, and Jon took the time to set it up and fill it up. I felt so bad, but I knew that it wasn't the place for me. I knew at that point that I was going to be staying where I was until my baby was born. It just felt right.
I said aloud, “I can do this.” It really helped to hear myself that. Reading my midwife's notes, I also see that at one point I said, “Let's laugh.” And everyone (Jon, me, and Lucinda) in the room laughed. I had read during pregnancy (I think in one of Ina May Gaskin's books) that laughing helped open the cervix and vaginal walls.
Now the contractions were getting pretty intense, and I was pretty sure I was in transition. I was starting to feel that involuntary pushing feeling during every contraction. I didn't ever feel this with Maev's labor, so I really enjoyed this part. I was so happy to be having a normal pushing phase! I was pretty sure that he'd be coming out soon, but I kept saying aloud, "Only a few more hours..." because I didn't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed. I didn't know how long pushing would take. Pushing Maev out took a really long time – almost 4 hours.
I was “roaring” now. I would feel completely normal between contractions and then one would come and I'd make this roaring noise while letting the pushing urge take over. It felt good and hurt at the same time. I had been lying on my side with my legs closed until now. Now I felt like I had to open them, but it was scary (I guess because it was a change that I didn't know if I could handle). I think that Jon helped me keep my leg propped up, but I don't quite remember.
My midwife's back up, Andrea, arrived around this time, I think. They were checking the baby's heartbeat with a doppler every couple of minutes. Every time they checked, I would ask, “Is he okay?” I think it was usually in the 110-120s, but then they couldn't hear anything. It was probably because he was so low, but to be safe my midwife told me to turn onto my back and get the baby out now. I didn't really have time to be scared; I just did what she told me and pushed as hard as I could – not worrying about keeping it slow to avoid tears. I didn't care at that moment. I felt burning for a second and then there was the weird feeling of his body coming out. I looked down, and saw Lucinda holding my baby! She put him on my chest and rubbed his back vigorously. He started making noises and crying. He was fine. I couldn't believe he was out already!! I was crying and talking to him; telling him how much we loved him and how glad we all were to finally see him. He was born at 11:35AM – three and half hours after labor started.
Someone peeked out our bedroom door to let Maev and Norrah know that they could come in when the placenta had come out. I was bleeding more than normal (although only half as much as I did with Maev), so the midwives gave me a shot of pitocin and some shephard's purse. I tore in the exact spot that I did with Maev.
After the placenta came out, Maev and Norrah came in. Norrah told me that I looked really good and that I didn't scare her or Maev at all with my noises (something I had worried about earlier). Maev asked if she could hold him. Jon cut the cord.
Later, right before the midwives left, they told me that the birth was “fun.” I agree.
The next day - Sunday, October 4th, 2009 - I woke up at 7:30AM. Maev was sleeping next to me, and Jon was in the family room working on his editing. At that time, I had cut Maev's nursing down to once a night for five minutes before bed. However, this morning, I let her nurse for a half hour before I got out of bed, hoping that the nipple stimulation would start labor.
I had woken up earlier (around 6AM, I think) feeling very hungry. I had made and eaten a half sandwich for myself. So instead of eating breakfast after I got out of bed, I started sweeping the floors. My plan was to do a lot of cleaning that day, again hoping to start labor. I was determined to make it happen! As I was sweeping, I started feeling some contractions. I didn't get my hopes up because that's what I'd been feeling all week. But I decided to take a shower soon so that I'd be clean in case it was the real thing. My mom called then to tell me that she was really sick and I shouldn't have the baby that day. I didn't tell her about the contractions because I figured why get her excited for nothing? I was going to mop the floors before showering, but the contractions were actually getting closer(!), so I told Jon I was getting in the shower. When I was about to get in, I yelled to him to call my midwife, Lucinda, and my, sister, Norrah (she was going to be there to watch Maev), to let them know what was going on.
Five minutes into the shower I yelled to Jon again that they better come over now. The contractions were actually getting a little intense. I was starting to have to talk myself through them - "It's just pressure...only pressure...lots of pressure..."
Ten minutes into the shower, I asked Jon when Lucinda was coming. When he told me that she had said she was going to eat a quick breakfast before coming over (she was pregnant herself - can't leave the house without a full stomach), I kind of panicked. There was a moment during some of the contractions when I was starting to feel the slightest bit pushy. I didn't know how much longer I had. So Jon called Lucinda again to let her know I didn't want her to have breakfast, but she said she was already on her way. It was at this time that Maev woke up. Jon took her into the kitchen to get her some breakfast.
I got out of the shower and decided I didn't have enough time to blow dry my hair, so I pulled it back and put on my very comfy maternity dress that I had planned to wear during labor. I started to put on some make up, but soon realized that I wasn't able to do that either. Jon started filling up the birth pool.
I was really feeling the need to concentrate and focus. I wanted to stay upright as long as possible, so I walked around our bedroom and leaned on our bed during contractions talking to myself and making low-pitched moans. I used the ipod to listen to my Hypnobabies scripts. It really helped me to stay calm, focused and to *try* to keep my body relaxed and go with the flow. Eventually I felt like I had to lie down. I wanted to stand to use the help of gravity, but it was too scary for some reason. So I lied down on my side at the foot of our bed. The birth pool was still being filled, and I really liked the sound of the water.
I closed my eyes during contractions and listened to the water and Hypnobabies. Jon came in to tell me that Lucinda had arrived, and when I opened my eyes again, there she was sitting on a chair next to the bed. I felt much better knowing she was there. I told her I didn't want her to check me, and she told me not to worry because she could tell I was well on my way and she didn't need to check me to figure that out.
Then my sister arrived to take care of Maev, and Jon was able to be by my side for the rest of the time. He sat on the foot of the bed and held my hand during contractions. I made him hold my hand the exact same way during each one. The pool was now filled, but I wanted the water to keep running. (I know - what a waste! I'm embarrassed.) I didn't want anything to change. I panicked when a script ended on the ipod until Jon started a new one for me. I felt like I could handle things just fine, as long as nothing in my immediate environment changed.
Although I was in pain, I actually remember having fun talking with Jon and Lucinda. I even remember laughing a little! I would say, “I am so lucky to be having a baby today!” and I'd try to remind myself often that I should be grateful that the pain I was in was because of that; that so many other people in the world were in pain and suffering right now and they weren't getting a baby out of it.
The baby got the hiccups. I could feel them so low. It bothered me a little because it was distracting. I don't remember how long they lasted.
I did start crying at one point when I realized that I wasn't going to be getting in the pool; after we spent money to buy it, researched how to make it work, and Jon took the time to set it up and fill it up. I felt so bad, but I knew that it wasn't the place for me. I knew at that point that I was going to be staying where I was until my baby was born. It just felt right.
I said aloud, “I can do this.” It really helped to hear myself that. Reading my midwife's notes, I also see that at one point I said, “Let's laugh.” And everyone (Jon, me, and Lucinda) in the room laughed. I had read during pregnancy (I think in one of Ina May Gaskin's books) that laughing helped open the cervix and vaginal walls.
Now the contractions were getting pretty intense, and I was pretty sure I was in transition. I was starting to feel that involuntary pushing feeling during every contraction. I didn't ever feel this with Maev's labor, so I really enjoyed this part. I was so happy to be having a normal pushing phase! I was pretty sure that he'd be coming out soon, but I kept saying aloud, "Only a few more hours..." because I didn't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed. I didn't know how long pushing would take. Pushing Maev out took a really long time – almost 4 hours.
I was “roaring” now. I would feel completely normal between contractions and then one would come and I'd make this roaring noise while letting the pushing urge take over. It felt good and hurt at the same time. I had been lying on my side with my legs closed until now. Now I felt like I had to open them, but it was scary (I guess because it was a change that I didn't know if I could handle). I think that Jon helped me keep my leg propped up, but I don't quite remember.
My midwife's back up, Andrea, arrived around this time, I think. They were checking the baby's heartbeat with a doppler every couple of minutes. Every time they checked, I would ask, “Is he okay?” I think it was usually in the 110-120s, but then they couldn't hear anything. It was probably because he was so low, but to be safe my midwife told me to turn onto my back and get the baby out now. I didn't really have time to be scared; I just did what she told me and pushed as hard as I could – not worrying about keeping it slow to avoid tears. I didn't care at that moment. I felt burning for a second and then there was the weird feeling of his body coming out. I looked down, and saw Lucinda holding my baby! She put him on my chest and rubbed his back vigorously. He started making noises and crying. He was fine. I couldn't believe he was out already!! I was crying and talking to him; telling him how much we loved him and how glad we all were to finally see him. He was born at 11:35AM – three and half hours after labor started.
Someone peeked out our bedroom door to let Maev and Norrah know that they could come in when the placenta had come out. I was bleeding more than normal (although only half as much as I did with Maev), so the midwives gave me a shot of pitocin and some shephard's purse. I tore in the exact spot that I did with Maev.
After the placenta came out, Maev and Norrah came in. Norrah told me that I looked really good and that I didn't scare her or Maev at all with my noises (something I had worried about earlier). Maev asked if she could hold him. Jon cut the cord.
Later, right before the midwives left, they told me that the birth was “fun.” I agree.